Yesterday I spent the day in the Emergency ward at a hospital. I was really scared. I didn't know what was not functioning properly with me, nor did the doctors. They finally gave me what they thought the problem was, and sent me for more tests to confirm it. When the test results came back, they told me that there was actually no problem at all. Of course, all this took hours upon hours to figure out. In the meanwhile, I was either sitting waiting for a test, sitting waiting for the doctor, or sitting in the waiting room trying to calm my nerves of not knowing what was going on.
All of this has taught me many things. One of the most immediate lessons is always take magnesium and if you run out, buy more. Another is never take your family for advantage. They will do anything for you.
Other lessons are less obvious to me just now other than the most evident which is that I need to stress less over things. "Don't sweat the same stuff, and it's all small stuff" kinda thing. The details of implementing this plan are not completely clear to me just now. All I know is that I need to change. My body told me so yesterday. Physically I am okay, apparently. Psychologically, I have been really shaken up.
I need to have more fun. Take less responsibility for everything and throw a little caution to the wind sometimes. I need to make this change internally before I can do anything else. I need to understand that I am confident and capable of doing anything. I love life and don't want to lose it. I shouldn't love the stress that I feel everyday, as a constant presence in the background of my everyday activities. I should love living. I want to do things that are fun and actually enjoy them. I want to worry less. I want to change. I know that that will be hard work and I know that I will need help. I also know that at this point, it's not worth carrying on as I once did.
There needs to be something better to do than worry all the time. I want to find out what that is and do it.
Sunday, February 28, 2010
Friday, February 19, 2010
Musings
Okay so it's official. I don't blog nearly enough. Oh well. Having said that, I was inspired this evening to put into words a few of my thoughts from the bus ride home.
As I embark on my current career path into human resources and labour relations I am aware of many things. For instance, I am aware that no matter what, there are always two sides to every story. I'm also aware of the fact that you should ask lots of questions before coming to any recommendations or conclusions. These are some of the things I am learning and starting to practice.
I am also aware that I feel a kind of internal friction acting on the management side of the table. This could be because of my inexperience in the industry and/or because I don't have enough knowledge of both sides. I feel that in dealing with employee accommodation issues especially, management should really put in all that it possibly can to support their people. For instance, if an employee feels that she is being harrassed by a male manager the employer needs to recognize that it is not the intent with which the harrassment is conducted that counts in front of the Tribunal, rather the impact of the actions or behaviour. This means that instead of relying on the manager to provide testimony in determing whether there was harrassment, the burden of proof shifts to the employee to demonstrate that she felt she was being harrassed.
While I cannot suggest a better system for this procedure at this particular time, I'm not sure I feel comfortable with this. I guess what makes me feel uncomfortable about it is that the employee who has already suffered what she feels is an injustice is then burdened with the additional technicality of demonstrating to complete strangers (thereby broadcasting her private situation to outsiders) in objective terms that she has experienced harrassment. When this happens in an employment context, it is all too often not taken seriously. Part of this has to do with the fact that there is, and always has been, an inherent power inbalance between employer and employee. Further to the point, 'harrassment' as defined in legisation and common law in Ontario must comprise of "... a course of vexatious behaviour ..." therefore the employee will be seen as without merit if she brings forward a complaint after only one incident of such misconduct.
For me, this is not quite right. I am not saying in this respect that I condemn all employers for their practices in accommodation because that would be brutally unfair. Many employers, if not all in Ontario, have robust anti-harrassment and anti-discrimination policies. Many employers also take these issues quite seriously, as so they should. I guess I just feel uncomfortable with the few employers that don't. It scares me really, because what is law in this great land of ours is not always what is practiced.
With that, I would encourage any of you out there in cyber-land to comment and share your own feelings. I know that I will certainly strive throughout my career to be a more responsible and 'accommodation-conscious' professional.
As I embark on my current career path into human resources and labour relations I am aware of many things. For instance, I am aware that no matter what, there are always two sides to every story. I'm also aware of the fact that you should ask lots of questions before coming to any recommendations or conclusions. These are some of the things I am learning and starting to practice.
I am also aware that I feel a kind of internal friction acting on the management side of the table. This could be because of my inexperience in the industry and/or because I don't have enough knowledge of both sides. I feel that in dealing with employee accommodation issues especially, management should really put in all that it possibly can to support their people. For instance, if an employee feels that she is being harrassed by a male manager the employer needs to recognize that it is not the intent with which the harrassment is conducted that counts in front of the Tribunal, rather the impact of the actions or behaviour. This means that instead of relying on the manager to provide testimony in determing whether there was harrassment, the burden of proof shifts to the employee to demonstrate that she felt she was being harrassed.
While I cannot suggest a better system for this procedure at this particular time, I'm not sure I feel comfortable with this. I guess what makes me feel uncomfortable about it is that the employee who has already suffered what she feels is an injustice is then burdened with the additional technicality of demonstrating to complete strangers (thereby broadcasting her private situation to outsiders) in objective terms that she has experienced harrassment. When this happens in an employment context, it is all too often not taken seriously. Part of this has to do with the fact that there is, and always has been, an inherent power inbalance between employer and employee. Further to the point, 'harrassment' as defined in legisation and common law in Ontario must comprise of "... a course of vexatious behaviour ..." therefore the employee will be seen as without merit if she brings forward a complaint after only one incident of such misconduct.
For me, this is not quite right. I am not saying in this respect that I condemn all employers for their practices in accommodation because that would be brutally unfair. Many employers, if not all in Ontario, have robust anti-harrassment and anti-discrimination policies. Many employers also take these issues quite seriously, as so they should. I guess I just feel uncomfortable with the few employers that don't. It scares me really, because what is law in this great land of ours is not always what is practiced.
With that, I would encourage any of you out there in cyber-land to comment and share your own feelings. I know that I will certainly strive throughout my career to be a more responsible and 'accommodation-conscious' professional.
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